You say you are my father, You love me?
I recall bruises on my body not covered under warranty.
You claimed to love me everytime you beat me.
Yet, in my heart a place reserved for you there always is.
I recall so little reason.
It drove me mad.
You were the monster in my closet;
yet you stood next to me, protecting me, holding my hand.
Father who loved me, who beat me, who hated me
so much that he would die to me, for me.
What was your reasoning for creating this insanity
This madness? my mind a constant flipping coin
two sides removed, unaware of the other, never seeing the other’s face.
This is your legacy, a confusion, a fusion of selves.
An atomic reactor leaking, losing stability,
waiting to blow.